Time to comment on miscellaneous things I can’t get a whole post out of.
Conversation in car last night:
Me: What do you think Medvedev is up to?
Scottie: It’s not him, it’s Putin.
Well, that’s what everyone assumes. But they weren’t doing this stuff while Putin was in charge. How do we know that Medvedev didn’t get in office and go, “Hey wait – I’m in charge now. I think I’ll do things my way.”
Well, it’s possible. (Thinking, “does she really believe she knows anything about this?”)
So what are they up to?
(With a big sigh.) Russia is slowly become Fascist.
Yeah. I’m talking about that inward-looking kind of nationalism Lewis warned against. It won’t kill you in itself, but combined with socialism and totalitarian powers it’s pretty deadly.
Me: So…will the Church suffer some more?
Scottie: It always does.
I’ve been spending a lot of time looking at recently-published books and reading publishing blogs. For a while after Johnny was born I watched a lot of TV. And I’ve had opportunities lately to look at some of the Japanese animated or comic stories that are becoming very popular with kids who want something more.
One thing that’s become clear is that there’s a general sense of growing darkness that’s invading popular culture. People feel that a work has more substance if it’s “dark.” Demons are becoming actual three-dimensional characters, with their own viewpoints, in popular literature. Vampires are basically the new teenager.
I wonder about this. I wonder whether this is bubbling up from some growing collective consencus that our world really is becoming more evil. If so, are we letting in again some of those things that the coming of Christianity banished for so long?
I also wonder whether it comes from the invasion of a whole worldview in which evil is real, has substance, is an ever-existing force that surges and eddies but is basically part of the essential makeup of our Universe. Something to think about. MacDonald’s Lilith really shows us the opposite, in which evil is a nightmare from which everyone must eventually awaken if God’s justice is to be vindicated.
We are about to become a two-income family. Now that Johnny is turning 2, I’ve secured part-time employment as a piano teacher. I like the people and the shop where I’ll be working, which is good. My hours are decent in terms of babysitting, as I will be working nights, three days a week, and during the day on Saturday. So Johnny will be with at least one parent most of the time. And I think I will be a good piano teacher, as I understand both how to practice, which is the most important skill any music teacher can pass on, and how to explain things to people, which I actually enjoy.
Totalling my feelings about this, however, proves that the whole is not the sum of its parts. Overall, I dread becoming employed. I’ve always loathed, not working, but having a job, – having to put aside the more organic parts of my life in order to arrive somewhere at a specific moment in time; not seeing my husband as much as I feel a normal wife should; having to pretend to be prettier and nicer than I really am. I like specific people but when it comes to the general population, I’m oppressed by what I courteously assume to be an illusion, that they are all in my way by the mere fact of their collective existence.
Oh, I’m a haughty, misanthropic daughter of the sloth, I am.
I dread being employed especially on those days when I’m absolutely miserable, woman-wise, and I have to go in late looking like a rumpled slob because I ran out of time to get ready, tripping and bumping into things, trying not to walk hunched over. People ask me if I’m all right. In those circumstances you pretty much have to lie and say that you are great, or else be crude and embarrass everyone in the room.
So you stare at them cross-eyed and say, “Yesh – hold on – phank’s – hold on – I’m finge!” Because your tongue is inexplicably swollen and you are about to drop all your books due to the fact that you can’t find your left hand.
Then they look at you like, “Wow, she’s not sick? I guess she really is just a disgusting – and inveterately tardy – person.”
Yes, I find the whole concept of working for someone else to be degrading to a lady’s dignity. I’m pretty sure I should have been wealthy and noble, patronizing the arts and providing other desperate people with employment. I would never, ever ask a girl if she was all right if she came in every now and then like a cross-eyed slob.
The thing is the money. Likes and dislikes aside, that’s what the decision is based on. What will I do with my money, (other than supplementing grocery funds, being my family’s de facto health insurance, and paying off credit cards at a faster rate?) I shall purchase 1) an ipod and 2) a Kindle reader. Further, I shall begin to build a digital music and book library so that never again will I have to worry about having too many books to carry with us when we move. Or fuss over the survival of those very perishable CD’s and physical volumes.
My children’s book collection will remain intact, however.
Speaking of money, we suddenly got a bunch dumped on us out of practically nowhere. I’m flabbergasted. My most reverent thanks to Holy Nicholas, patron saint of our first parish, who goes with us everywhere now. I shall procure those glasses I’ve been needing, and finally register our car in our new state of residence. (No more cringing every time a police car goes by, hoping they don’t realize that we are living here with WI plates.)
All after checking in with the IOCC in St. Nicholas’ name, of course.
It’s always a pleasure to get unexpected money.
Unexpected money doesn’t last, though, so I still have to go to work. Ding-dangety-dong.